Bright-eyed and bushy tailed we departed Washington D.C. around 8 a.m. for Nashville. This would be our second longest day in the car - 11 hours. Cragin took the wheel determined to make it in less time. Turns out the Virginia State Police was more determined to add to their pension funds - we were pulled over about 5 hours into our journey. Officer Hudson was extremely polite - introduced himself with a smile and a handshake before politely bending Cragin over and f*cking her in the a** with a $136 ticket. The rest of the day we used cruise control.
10 hours in and only 45 minutes to Nashville we stopped to get gas. And boy did we. While Jihan (a consummate NJ girl - "I have to PUMP IT?") filled up, we gathered outside the car to stretch out legs. The price meter stopped but unfortunately the pump had trouble following suit and as Jihan removed the nozzle from the car, a fire hose stream of gas shot out, promptly dousing the car, Jihan and the ground with gasoline. (please note that this is the second gas accident of this nature Cragin has lived through in 6 weeks, she is sure that the Gods are trying to burn her to death). After changing and using approximately 300 wet wipes, we piled into the car sweaty and wreaking of gas. Our Nashville host was more than happy to show us the shower within 2 minutes of our arrival.
Notable roadside attractions seen during the journey:
2 Confederate Flags
42 signs for a teddy bear themed kids restaurant "Shoney's" (a poor man's Chuck E Cheese)
1 Seven-story Cross
A billboard that read " All I know is everything.... - GOD"
A "JULES 7" vanity plate
States driven through so far:
New Jersey
Delaware
Maryland
Virginia
Pennsylvania
Tennessee
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"Officer Hudson was extremely polite - introduced himself with a smile and a handshake before politely bending Cragin over and f*cking her in the a** with a $136 ticket."
ReplyDeleteQuite possibly the funniest thing I've ever read.