MIRACLE ON AIR

We kidnapped Melissa and drove the 1 ½ hours to Denver for a honkey tonk night on the town. Stop one was dinner at Lola’s a Mexican fusion restaurant in the trendy Lodo area of the city. World’s collided as we met up with Emily, a Middlebury friend of Jen, BB and Cragin as well as Cragin’s friend Sasha from her stint in Germany. Turns out worlds colliding is smooth sailing when lubricated with pitchers of sangria. After a satisfying meal and complete with our new cowboy hats but leaving BB’s dunce cap at home, BB, Cragin and Jen set off in search of line dancing and cowboys.

Emily dropped us off at the Cowboy Lounge where women drink for free on Thursday nights. Ding Ding Ding Jackpot! Poor Matt (Cragin’s friend from home) was stuck paying $6 for magnum-sized cans of Busch while the beer, vodka and whiskey flowed into our awaiting mouths for free. Copious amounts of alcohol later, we found ourselves sidestepping vomit on the dancefloor and rocking out to “She Thinks my Tractor is Sexy” with the best of ‘em. Yee haw.

As the Cowboy Lounge turned sloppy about 13 free drinks later BB ventured to the bathroom where she was greeted by the most gregarious bathroom attendant ever, who weighed about 300 pounds and looked La Fawndah. She took an instant liking to BB, who, panicked, brought up the lack of air conditioning. “I know!!” La Fawndah cheered, “My hair would be frizzy if it wasn’t artificial!” Wow.

Next stop was a sports bar and after some shots, we found ourselves on the air hockey table. Cragin and BB competed first and discovered that motor skills are indeed hindered after a case of beer. A few rounds later, it was the championship round between BB and Jen (who somehow managed to be the drunkest person in the bar and have a cracker jack slap shot). Despite an extreme comeback, BB lost by one point to Jen “Right Arm” LaRosa and once again demonstrated her completely inability to lose gracefully. She was only able to take solace in the fact that Jen woke up on Friday with a “sports injury” and sore forearm from her victory. BB reveled in her misery as only a Muir could.