You Really Can't Fit a 72 oz Burger in Your Purse

Saturday night began like any other night in Amarillo Texas. The chain stores were buzzing and the tourists were slowly finding their way to the most ridiculous place on earth, The Big Texan Steakhouse. We got ready with our expandable pants and loose shirts, we headed out of the hotel into the car to begin our fateful night vs the 72 oz steak.

The night began with a bang when BB took the driver’s seat and Jen politely asked “Jul..hold up a sec. I just gotta get something out of the trunk.” “OK, no problem” BB replied. And then she forgot about the interaction even quicker than it took Cragin to burn her slice and bake cookies senior year (yes..about 5 minutes). As Jen was rummaging through the back, Cragin began to say, as BB stepped on the gas “Don’t forget about Jennie-OOOO.” Pictures to follow.

Having escaped the parking lot, everyone unscathed, we headed into the direction of The Big Texan Steakhouse. Pulling into the parking lot was quite a site to see, especially given that a large scale skinny cowboy, likened to Woody in Toy Story, was hovering over the sign. Jihan quickly exclaimed that her Top 5 (list of guys she wants to get to know biblically) had now been rounded out and we proceeded in, unsurprised. Adorning the restaurant was a pool in the shape of Texas, a limo with bull horns on the hood, Big Broadway lights advertising the Free 72 oz steak, and an attached Ole West themed Hotel with guests that were the very reason we do not live in Amarillo, TX. After taking MANY pictures with the surrounding scenery, we went inside like kids in a candy store ready for our prize.

The Outside had NOTHING on the inside. With décor resembling Jason’s father’s apt in Miami, dead animals lined the walls, floors, and ceilings. Cowhide table clothes and cowboy hats galore. We were seated rather quickly and even faster became friends with our waitress, Annie. To our great dissatisfaction, she explained that if we were to order the 72 oz steak for our table it would cost us a whopping $200, which was more than we were willing to spend in this obvious upscale restaurant. Even though we decided against it, it did not prevent us from watching other people attempt to eat in under the spotlight. 4 tried….none succeeded. Well 3 failed, but Jihan has faith in the skinny high-schooler who was still chowing down when we left. The contest is to finish a 72 oz steak DINNER in an hour. This consists of a 72 oz steak (NO BONE), a salad, roll, baked potato, and fried shrimp appetizer. Needless to say the puke bucket at the end of the table was a necessity.

While staring wide-eyed in awe at the men attempting to do this, the four of us thoroughly enjoyed our steak dinners. They were perfectly cooked and tender and we were fortunate enough to meet the proud owner of the restaurant, Mike. He swiftly formed an attachment to Cragin, who flirted with him in an attempt to get a free dinner. Although it didn’t work exactly the way we were hoping, he did sign the 10 pound box of fudge Jihan bought at the gift shop stating, “To the hottest, sexiest groop of girls…” He then corrected himself and spelled GROUP correctly. They don’t necessarily grow brains bigger at the Big Texan.