It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time

We arrived at the Hualapai Hilltop around 615 a.m. to prepare for our hike. The day started with a “kurplunk” as Jen and Cragin ventured to the trail head port-a-potties for a much needed pee. (Readers, please note that the only thing that makes a port-a-potty tolerable is the anonymity. You don’t know who has been in it and you don’t want to know. You have to go and this is your only option.) Our experience was marred by the fact that there were 2 Chris Farley-looking men dropping off the kids in the stalls before us. For some reason (maybe guys will understand this?) they were talking to each other between the johns. Apparently Fat Man #1 was saying something truly important and Fat Man #2- not realizing that Jen and Cragin were standing there) opened the door in an effort to hear. When you see who has been in there before you, your port-a-potty experience becomes exponentially worse. We bathed in Purell before beginning our descent.

The hike was described as “long but not particularly challenging.” Armed with lots of water, hiking Goo and trail mix, we had faith in our youth and physical fitness. It turned out to be 10 miles to our ultimate destination, the Havasupai Falls outside of the Supai Indian Village at the bottom of the canyon. The hike was beautiful, winding between various rock structures and leading us through cave-like vestibules. JIhan expressed her personal excitement by stating: “I feel like Dora the Explorer!” Apparently hiking makes Jihan feel like a 7-year old Hispanic girl. We arrived at the Supai Village which consisted of signs for a non existent store and a welcome center. We continue down the trail and suddenly came upon Havasupai Falls, our ultimate destination. The spring-fed waterfall was stunningly gorgeous and provided a swimming hole for us to jump into. After 2 hours frolicking in the pools and napping on the picnic tables, we began our long trek back.

The trail was significantly longer than we remembered from a few hours earlier. BB fought the urge to use her “Go Girl” urinating tool, a road trip gift for all of us from Mother BB. When we opened the package to discover that the Go Girl was little more than a strap-on with a hole, BB elected to join all of us in the bushes. On the way down, we failed to realize just how long and physically draining the way back was going to be or how incredibly dirty we were getting. The red dust of the trail had become ingrained in our hair, teeth and skin causing Cragin to exclaim that she wanted to “Wet One herself”- obviously referring to using the moist towelette brand but accidentally painting a fairly obscene picture for everyone. We ventured on.

After almost 5 ½ hours and 1.5 miles straight uphill, we arrived at the hilltop beaten and battered having finished one of the most physically demanding days of our collective lives. In the car, Jihan made the mistake of taking a whiff of herself, “I just smelled myself…..and it was….upsetting,” she proclaimed. Just as upsetting, however, as BB’s forgetting to hydrate effectively and getting a “hiking hangover” in the car ride to the hotel. Armed with a coke and 4 gallons of water, she made her way to the hotel room while the three of us, ravenous from burning almost 3,000 calories and eating 5 made our way to the only place that could effectively satiate us, DENNY’S. Never having frequented this particular establishment before, we ordered half the menu and waited for our meal. A sampler platter, 2 turkey sandwiches and a burger later, we arrived back in Flagstaff to cleanse ourselves of the "unholy amount of dirt" on our bodies. Clean, full and paralyzed by soreness, we laid down our heads for a great night's sleep.

"We DOMINATED the Grand Canyon today" - Jihan