The Final Post

Our Road Trip was ending and all through the car,
The ladies were weary, ‘we’ve traveled so far!’
After driving through states of both mountain and plain,
We remembered our vaca and the knowledge we’ve gained.
The bars in Nashville had free drinks galore,
And sex-iled BB had to sleep on the floor.
Ribs in Memphis went down well in our pelvis
At Graceland Jihan realized her deep love for Elvis.
We combated the tornados in the flat lands,
And walked in the canyon through 20 miles of sand.
In Colorado we hiked and ate meat by the pound,
And enjoyed the free booze at the Cowboy Lounge.
Nebraska was crappy and Iowa was the bomb,
Due to Ameer’s generosity and Burke’s awesome mom.
In Chicago we were tourists like Ferris and Cameron,
And indulged in free cocktails from a drunk fat man.
We rocked in Cleveland while we rolled through the Midwest,
We went seeking huge burgers and found the very best.
Then we were nestled all snug in our beds
At Clearfield’s Hampton Inn with 2 bottles of red.
So now our trip is over and our blog is at the end,
Thank you for reading and for being great friends!




By the Numbers:
• Miles traveled: 5,945
• Gas breaks: 24
• States Visited: 19 (New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, Maryland, Virginia, Tennessee, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, Colorado, Nebraska, Iowa, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio)
• Miles hiked in the Grand Canyon: 22
• Hours spent hiking in the Grand Canyon: 11
• Number of times BB wore her Dunce Cap: 6
• Total number of crosses: infinity
• Number of “Jesus” billboards: 300
• Number of “Adult XXX” billboards: 299
• Hookups: 2 (almost 3)
• Number of Confederate Flags seen: 5 (not enough!)
• Ounces of beef consumed: 175
• Memories: infinity

Superlatives:
• Best Stripclub: Amarillo’s pink modular home strip club at the end of an empty parking lot
• Best Stripclub NAME: Zippers in Okobiji,Iowa (Second place: Chubbie’s in Wisconsin)
• Last to the car every morning: Cragin
• Loudest in the morning: Jihan
• Champion of the “actors in random movies” game: Jennie
• Best sport for trying to adhere to her rules: BB
• Best at digging through the snacks to get to the cookies: Jihan
• Best at spooning Cragin every night of the trip: BB

Host Superlatives:
• Best activity planner and Colorado Springs advocate: Melissa – Colorado Springs
• Best Sangria-maker and most easily integrated into KP gang: Kirstin (and Sean) - Denver
• Most surprising: Judy – Iowa
• Most surprised: Molly - Chicago
• Most enthusiastic (and generous): Ameer - Iowa
• Friendliest (and Best Ride): Colin - Nashville
• Saintliest and most prepared: Jana – Little Rock


And finally readers, what you have all been waiting for…what BB stands for.
Because Jule has grown increasingly younger looking relative to the rest of us, and because she gets carded more nowadays than she has in the past, we have decided that she is actually aging backwards like…Benjamin Button. Everyone please get in your time with Jules before she is an Alzheimer’s-ridden toddler.